you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
