I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
