I wish you could order shots online.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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