Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize