i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize