Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
