shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
