I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
