My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do vagina's smell?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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