so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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