You made me cry and you don't even care
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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