My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
