Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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