just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
