He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
