I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
