i may or may not be watching the land before time
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize