you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
