it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
