I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
