i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
