I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
