So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
