Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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