apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
