I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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