I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Screwed.edu
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
