I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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