your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
