my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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