So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
