come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
