I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
