I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
