I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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