i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
