dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
