If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
