I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
