Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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