don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
