I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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