i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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