I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
