dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
