How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
