It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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