I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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