I never want to see another naked old woman again.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
