Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize