1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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