school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
