so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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