MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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