Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
