Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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