I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
