the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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