i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
