it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
