marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
