does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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