Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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