Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
