Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
