at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
