I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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