I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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