It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
