do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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