just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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