I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize