I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
