why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
