I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
