Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
