Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
