I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
