It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You pole danced in your parka.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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