So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
