It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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