its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
