I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
