You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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