Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
