i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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