I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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