He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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